I don't remember if I mentioned that I was going to go to the doctor in my last post. So in case I didn't, now you know. I talked to her about the problems we've been having. Since I haven't tried for quite a year (since the miscarriage), she suggested I wait until it's been a full year and then talk to the OB/GYN they have on staff at the clinic. But she knows that I'm a fairly intelligent person, so she was willing to talk through some options with me. She said she could give me a low dose of Clomid (which is basically the first thing they try when someone is having trouble conceiving - it increases your chances of ovulation) for three months (at which time it will have been a full year). She also said the lab at the clinic could test my husband's semen to make sure there are no problems with his sperm. I decided to say yes to both options.
We haven't been able to get a semen sample in yet. Circumstances have gotten in the way, and the sample needs to be brought to the clinic as soon as possible (like within a couple of hours after "the sample has been gathered"). Plus the clinic is only open between 8:30 and 5:00 Monday through Friday. We'll get it taken care of soon, though.
I will start the Clomid in just a few days. The instructions are to take it from day 5 through day 9 of the cycle, and then test for ovulation on days 11 through 15. If I do ovulate, that's a lot sooner than when it usually happens for me. So I'll keep on testing until I get a positive. We'll see what happens.
I'm actually kind of scared again by the prospect of getting pregnant. Is that silly of me? I guess I've somehow started to adjust to the idea that I won't be able to have kids. I'm scared I won't be ready, or I'll be a failure, or we won't have enough money. I don't know. I'm trying to leave it in God's hands. I do still really want kids. I'm just also scared.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Well, I've given the new ideas three cycles, and I'm still not pregnant. I'm going to make an appointment with my doctor (it's about time for my yearly fun-time appointment anyway) and talk to her about what steps we can take to figure out what's going on. I'll update again when I have new information.