Thursday, August 28, 2008

Week Six

Just to be clear, "week six" means I have complete five full weeks of pregnancy and am now working on the sixth week. Today is actually day 38.

The spotting I mentioned last time stopped the next morning, for which I am quite thankful. But then I had another scare yesterday morning with bright blood. But that was just the one time, so I think (hope) everything is ok.

I intend to do another pregnancy test on Tuesday (which will be the beginning of week seven). If that's positive, I'll call the clinic and get in for one of their pregnancy tests.

I've been crying for no good reason. Not sobbing, just...tears. It seems like everything is affecting me more lately. Part of it is that I really don't want a repeat of my last pregnancy. I want a child so bad. And part of me fears that it's just not going to happen. But I'm trying to trust in God's will.

Physically, my stomach is already starting to change. It's enough for me to see, but not enough for anyone else to notice. I've decided to take weekly pictures to monitor it. But I'll spare you, at least for the time being.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Week Five Again?

I am shaking like a leaf right now. I manage to calm myself down a bit with deep breathing, and then I go back to normal breathing, and I go right back to where I started.

Today is day 31 of my cycle. I've been spotting for three days, but with no actual menstruation. I usually spot for one day. So I decided to do a pregnancy test this morning if I still hadn't started menstruation. It turned out positive! I'm happy and excited, but I'm also worried due to the continued spotting. I'm thinking about calling my doctor, but I really don't think there is anything she'd be able to do. Either this one will latch on and the spotting is just a sign of that happening, or I'm going to lose it like the last one.

I pray to God that everything is healthy and good.